i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
nutella sex= disaster
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
