Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize