Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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