dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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