just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
