What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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