return my video game
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
