so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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