Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize