I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
