I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
