Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
