He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
