just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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