I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
i think my cat just said my name.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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