i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
