Kiss
Puke
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
