Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
