thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize