I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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