i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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