return my video game
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize
