Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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