A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
vagina is talking i cant
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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