i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
