So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
