Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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