So drunk, too bad you don't want this
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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