I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
