it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
