you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
