question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
