I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
