I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
