been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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