i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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