they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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