Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
