Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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