Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
