I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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