I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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