ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
