Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
