Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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