This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
You were trust falling into bushes
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
