I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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