apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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