What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Randomize
