Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Boobs are out for the taking
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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