I got chris browned last night
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Randomize
