He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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