what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
