There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
