Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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